a new start

Tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM more than 1600 freshmen students will begin moving into their residence halls at Wash U and their orientation program will begin.

Pray for me. Pray with me.

pruning

And every branch that is grape-bearing he cuts back so it will bear even more.
John 15:2b, The Message

Tonight I was walloped with the realization that it feels risky to believe that all of the pruning I've been experiencing, particularly in the past year, will result in an abundance of fruit. That hoped-for-fruit has made the painful removal of dead weight feel worthwhile. Tonight I crumpled in a sobbing heap and confessed the toxic seed of doubt that has been making itself at home in my heart: maybe barrenness is my lot.

Yes, the anticipation of planting something new has me feeling like I'm riding an emotional roller coaster. One minute I'm loving the ride and I'm convinced that there's nowhere else I'd rather be because this ride is forcing me to trust Jesus with abandon. The next minute I'm clinging white-knuckled to the safety bar with clenched teeth and I'm convinced that getting on this ride was a huge mistake.

The pruning is not over. If my understanding of Scripture is on point, it won't be over this side of eternity! The mercy in all of this is that I don't have to spend time agonizing over what my continued pruning will look like or what it will feel like. I can also ask Jesus to fight off my fear of fruitlessness because he says that fruit will be the organic result of remaining in Him.

This remaining business is an art and I would very much like to be a more devoted student of it.