true life

I've had several moments on campus this year when I have had to remind myself that I did not graduate from Wash U. That's how much it feels like home! This is a total answer to pray and I could not be more grateful for the way that God has allowed my heart to love this institution and its students. In my time here I have been challenged to pray and discover the needs unique to this place. What are the big questions that students at Wash U are asking? Part of InterVarsity's vision is to see campuses renewed. What might that look like? Before I had even stepped foot on campus I remember thinking, "I bet Wash U would be a great place to host a Veritas Forum."

The Veritas Forum exists to "inspire the shapers of tomorrow's culture to connect their hardest questions with the person and story of Jesus Christ." Founded in 1992 at Harvard University, The Veritas Forum has spread to campuses across the country. I am thrilled to announce that the first Veritas Forum at Washington University in St. Louis is taking place on the evening of March 29, 2010.

It has been two years in the making. Initial plans for the inaugural event had to be scrapped in late 2008. The fact that we are on the cusp of seeing it come to fruition is hugely significant as hosting a Veritas Forum requires partnership between Christian student leaders from multiple ministries, campus ministers, and faculty. I believe that the event next Monday night will be the first of many opportunities to elevate the conversation about Jesus on campus and engage students with questions that they are actually asking.

Needless to say the next couple of weeks are going to be full of excitement as we finalize logistical details for the 29th, host the event, and create some strategic follow-up plans to capitalize on the momentum for outreach on campus.

shining lights

On Friday, March 12, CityLights was coming to a close and Gerry Chappeau, project director, was leading the students in sharing their reflections from the week. Sanjay*, a Wash U senior who has been friends with a couple of One Voice students since his freshman year raised his hand. "This week has helped me understand more of what Christianity is all about...getting to see it in action. I didn't understand before why people could be so passionate about it, but I think I get it now. It's made me take a look at my own faith and why I believe what I believe," he shared.

Sanjay comes from a Hindu background and describes himself as a Hindu/Buddhist. As his friends from One Voice have continued to engage in conversation about spiritual matters his posture towards Christianity has become more positive. I must confess that I was pretty surprised when I learned that he had signed up for CityLights. I fully believe that the experience of living in community, serving the city, and learning about God's response to injustice and oppression have helped Sanjay take a couple of steps closer to Jesus. He told his One Voice friends that spending Spring Break at CityLights was the best week he's had in the past year and a half!

Returning to the "real world" after any spiritually significant experience is challenging. Diving back into life and study on campus after CityLights is no exception. Would you join me in praying specifically that Sanjay's heart and mind would remain open to the Gospel in this spiritually vulnerable time? Please pray for wisdom for those of us in his life who will continue to talk to him about Jesus and help him process what he has been experiencing.

* Name changed to protect student's identity

suspect

There is something new brewing in my internal world. I am grateful for the way that Jesus knows exactly what dark corner of my heart He wants to excavate next. He seems to slowly make that evident to me as some kind of repeated theme emerges over the course of weeks, or months, or even years. In the initial stages of each excavation (and really it's more like multiple excavations in progress all at once) I find that I also experience fear in addition to gratitude.

There is something a wee bit frightening of letting go of what is familiar and "safe" even when it becomes clear that it's destructive and you know that it's out of His grace and goodness that Jesus is saying, "Time for this mess to go!"

Here's a recent and unfolding discovery: I have a serious problem with receiving. In fact, I harbor some suspicion that God's good gifts to me are not actually good. What a mess! Who wants to help me sort through the roots and growth of that foul line of thinking?

Jesus does.

Today I received an exciting invitation and my first response was to burst into tears. This invitation represents a clear affirmation of gifting and calling, but my thoughts went something like, "I don't deserve this."

Oh, I am reminded that we are in relationship with a God who does not relate to us on the basis of what we deserve and that is a truly good gift.

identity

I had the privilege of spending the last four days near San Fransisco at InterVarsity's Asian American Staff Conference.

I was initially nervous about attending. As I've continued to explore what it means to feel free to embrace my Korean-American side I consistently find myself wishing that I were half-Korean. If I were half I'd feel more entitled to that identity. I imagine that an even split is easier to navigate. I imagine that if my dad had kept his Korean name I'd be Andrea Kim and there would be far fewer questions. I imagine that my high cheekbones would be set even higher and my small feet would fit in smaller shoes.

Jesus continues to invite me to experience healing and to embrace an identity that is far less fragmented. I don't fully know how He plans on using this Scotch-Irish-German-Korean-Jewish vessel, but I know that He'll use all of me. Not one bit of my tangled ethnic identity is out of place or a mistake.

Post-conference conclusion: I am grateful to be caught up in the Story written by a God who wastes nothing.

teamwork

Adam is one of my wonderful Missouri Area teammates.

I've been thinking about teams recently. I grew up with very little appreciation for the value of teamwork. Team sports were not really part of the picture. I wasn't blessed with much athletic ability and what little I had was channeled toward more individualistic ventures like ballet and tennis. I dreaded group projects in elementary school and I developed the reputation of taking on the bulk of the work because I simply couldn't imagine that anyone else would get it done right. The early signs of trust and control issues? Check.

Old habits die hard. Looking back I can see that there was some growth in my understanding of teamwork throughout high school and college, but I had (and still have) a long way to go. My intern year with InterVarsity was extremely rough in terms of team dynamics. I left that year with some battle wounds and the understanding that being on a team is hard work. Each of us bring a pile of sin and selfishness to the proverbial table that is enough to make us incompatible with every other human being we come in contact with. Bleak outlook? Perhaps, but I think there is a lot of truth in there. Put two or more of us in a room and there is bound to be conflict at some point!

The good/hard news is that we are called to minister in teams. I just love it when I am reminded that most of the New Testament was written with a group audience in mind, a "you all" rather than "you" as an individual. Teams are the context in which our gifts are best utilized and where we experience the potential for exponential impact as our individual gifts come together. A healthy team is also the context through which we are challenged to grow as our sin and selfishness are exposed and dealt with, hopefully with generous helpings of grace and humility.

I am learning to love the joy and the pain that come with being a part of a team. When my former supervisor told me that he thought I was a great person to have on a team I immediately recalled my past and my gut-level response was, "That cannot possibly be true."

I may have been wrong.