among the wolves

Last Saturday at 3 PM I gathered with nine students to study John 3:1-21. Seven of those students were part of WULF - Wash U's League of Freethinkers. With the end of the semester rapidly approaching and no guarantee that they would want to continue to study Scripture with me in the spring I gave three of their leaders the choice of which passage we would explore and they chose John 3 - Jesus and Nicodemus.

Needless to say as I stood in front of the group and shared some background information on the passage and the basic ground rules of inductive Bible Study I felt like I was about to be fed to the wolves. Facilitation wise, it was probably one of the most difficult studies I've ever led. They had a really tough time actually making observations and kept diving directly into interpreting the passage. After a couple of hours I was exhausted and unsure if any of the main points were coming across. In hindsight, however, I can see some of the things that were happening:

• A couple of the students were clearly wrestling with the idea that spiritual birth is something that comes from "above" rather than something we can manufacture on our own.
  

• The tension created by the location of a verse about God's love as it is expressed in sending Jesus (3:16) and a verse about the condemnation of those who persist in unbelief (3:18) evoked a very strong negative reaction from one student in particular. Again, this gave me insight into his spiritual questions and struggle with the Gospel.
  

• Several of the students thanked me afterward and expressed that they had never actually studied any part of the Bible.

I expected hard questions and I definitely had those in abundance. I also expected that we wouldn't be able to answer them all adequately in the time allowed. This was also true but it provides an opportunity for further conversation with individuals who participated.

I would very much appreciate your prayers as I follow-up with the WULF students and challenge them to continue to explore Scripture with me this spring.

advent

Come, thou long-expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in thee.

Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth thou art:
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart.

The lines of Charles Wesley's hymn have been running through my head for the past couple of weeks. I am more thoughtful about this season of expectant waiting than I have been in the past. Clear identification of the unmet longings lying buried in your heart will do that to you.

And so I find myself desperately hoping for the arrival of this long-expected Jesus all over again.

proxé station

Extreme Makeover: Campus Edition

"If you could makeover one aspect of your external appearance what would it be?"

We had the opportunity to ask that question to dozens of Wash U students recently. Two weeks ago we experimented with a form of campus outreach known around InterVarsity as the Proxé Station. According to the guidebook that I used to train students prior to our event a Proxé Station is a guided experience that is used to clearly explain the Gospel and help people respond appropriately. It uses interactive art, questions, and conversation to enable participants to discover realities about God, themselves, and their world, which move them to respond to Jesus.

Students who responded to our opening question about their external reality were invited to respond to a question about their internal reality and it was fascinating to listen to their responses. While a few students said that they were completely happy with their physical appearance all of them had things about their inner realities that they wanted to see change. Quite a few were open to hearing us share the Gospel and explain how Jesus offers hope for true transformation of our internal realities. Good stuff!

The response was extremely positive and I am excited about doing more Proxé Station outreach at Wash U in the spring as a collaborative effort between all of the InterVarsity chapters on campus. Several students expressed interest in taking a look at Scripture with us after they were guided through the proxé experience. Please pray for fruitful conversations as we continue to pursue follow up interactions with these new friends who desire to learn more about Jesus.

Allison and Ly guide a Wash U student through the Proxé experience.

eager feet

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And wither then? I cannot say.

- J.R.R. Tolkien

Tomorrow we're setting up an interactive display on campus for a couple of hours in order to engage students in conversation about their internal realities and how the good news of the Gospel offers hope for transformation. Pray for good connections and the cultivating of much curiosity about Jesus.

This week One Voice is also committing to inviting our friends to study three passages out of John's Gospel over the first three weeks of November. These GIGs (Groups Investigating God) are a change to invite our curious friends to consider the things we've been learning about Jesus this semester. Pray for boldness as we invite and build community around the Word.

As we press on into the second half of this semester I am mindful that we are not always sure where the road is leading, but we are sure who is walking ahead of us. That makes all the difference.

sufficient

Confidence in the sufficiency of Jesus - my pastor in Tucson defined faith as such. I find myself agreeing with him more and more, especially as I step out into greater risks and invite students to do the same.

Tonight I am having to remind myself of this as I prepare to work on fundraising after a week full of other relational risks on campus. I am confident in his sufficiency.

living water

Yup, that's me - looking terrified in the last row and leaning forward.

Last weekend I fulfilled a lifelong dream: whitewater rafting on a legitimate river. I survived - thrived, actually - through the experience and it was every bit as exciting as I had hoped it would be.

Earlier in the week I had the opportunity to spend three days studying John 1-4 in the company of the Urbana Bible Study teaching team. In the final session we dove into Jesus' interaction with the woman at the well. While I am keenly aware of the way Jesus has been using this preparation time in each of the four passages to refine me, I've been mulling over the 4th chapter of John's Gospel for months now. This time Jesus' offer of "living water" stood out. We talked about living water carrying the cultural understanding of moving water as opposed to water from a well or cistern. For some reason I'd always associated that phrase with something tame, like a fountain. As soon as moving water came up in the conversation, however, the fountain image in my head gave way to a river: wild, untamed, and rapid.

As I rafted the living water of the Ocoee River I couldn't help but marvel at the invitation that Jesus offers us.

Our fitting response is to give it away.

On the last and greatest day of the Festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them."
John 7:37-38 (TNIV)

i will draw all people to myself

Visions Gospel Choir

I am spending a lot of time reading/meditating/studying Scripture these days. The Gospel of John gets a significant chunk of my time, thanks to Urbana. I am fascinated by Jesus' words about himself. He makes a particularly bold claim in John 12:32 - "And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself." (TNIV)

Last Saturday night Wash U hosted a huge party for the Class of 2013 at the St. Louis Science Center. Visions Gospel Choir, part of InterVarsity's Harambee chapter at Wash U, was invited to perform. I've been singing with Visions since last fall and it has been a great way to build cross-fellowship relationships and manage to have a musical outlet for myself!

There is something incredibly powerful about speaking - or singing - truth in front of a crowd. As I surveyed the freshmen gathering around us and leaning over the railings of the upper levels of the Science Center to listen to us on Saturday night it hit me that we were lifting up the name of Jesus in a public place and at the invitation of the university administration! Crazy, right?

I believe that Jesus speaks the truth. The drawing people to himself is his job, but we get to play our part in lifting him up!

i heart my staff team

2009-2010 Missouri Area Team

I love these people. No, really I do. I'm realizing how often I use that phrase flippantly, as in, "I love my new dress!" or "I just love New York-style pizza!" But when it comes right down to it I aim for sincerity when talking about love in relationship to other people, so it feels fitting to confess how much I appreciate and care about the people on this team that I get to serve alongside.

God calls us into partnership with him and with each other. It's a beautiful, life-giving gift if we can learn to accept that our relationships are one of the primary tools he uses to refine each of us. We have much to learn from each other and much to give so that the whole Body is built up.

I am looking forward to this year of ministry with this team as we encourage, challenge, and serve one another for the sake of the Kingdom.

dependence and hospitality

Yesterday was our first meeting of the new school year as the Missouri Area Team. We studied Luke 9:1-16 and as the themes of dependence on Jesus and those we serve, coupled with radical hospitality emerged I felt so much hope welling up inside of myself. The past couple of years have been a journey of learning deep dependence on Jesus - it's definitely not over, but some really good work has taken place. In the midst of that work I've also discovered that one of my gifts is hospitality: making space in my life and heart for new relationships. During our reflection time after the study I spent time thanking Jesus for the way he's been transforming my life and ministry in the time since I moved to St. Louis and I asked how he wanted to use this particular passage to shape ministry on campus in the coming year.

"Get ready!" he said.

My sense is that Jesus is going to show up in incredible ways as we order our lives and our fellowship around dependence and hospitality this year.

soar

Taking flight: my favorite mural in the Roosevelt Arts District in Phoenix

It is good to be back in St. Louis after three wonderful weeks in sunny Arizona. I am getting settled into my new home and continuing to reflect on the goodness of God in the midst of a loss that is propelling me into a new year of ministry on Wash U's campus.

If you had asked me in June how I felt about the fall semester I probably would have told you that I didn't have the emotional capacity to even think about it, but such is not the case at the beginning of August. I believe that God has incredibly good things in store as I lead students to engage with His mission. I believe that the new life He wants to bring on our campus is going to be overwhelm us in the best possible way. I believe that He knows what He is doing.

I've been seeing a counselor since January and today she paid me the highest compliment. "Andrea," she said, "You make me love Jesus more. The best part about it is that you're not even trying to get that kind of response, but you're so transparent that it just happens as I get to hear about the way you are letting him transform you. Thank you for letting me be a part of it."

I am treasuring those words and asking Jesus to make transparency a mark of my ministry this year.

sleep patterns

I haven't slept well since the end of April. This is usually one area of my life where I can count on some consistency, but that has not been the case for the last several weeks. My counselor suggested that it might be time to look into an over the counter sleep aid and I'm willing to admit that she might be right. Really though, I just hate the idea of having to take medication and so I'm dragging my feet. Would you pray that I would be given sound advice as I explore this option and that I would begin to sleep through the night soon?

fog

I feel really burdened to share with you all some specific ways that you can be praying right now. In the midst of sorting through my own hurt I have heard very clearly that I am to continue to pray for Paul and invite others to do so as well. A couple of people who were praying yesterday had a strong sense that he is experiencing a lot of confusion right now. Would you join us in praying that God's voice would cut through all of that for him?

Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope.
Zechariah 9:12a

dreams

God is demonstrating his love for me in the most tangible ways. Within a couple of hours of sending out my update email on Friday, which included a prayer request for housing, I found a place to live beginning at the end of July! I will be sharing this charming, two bedroom, brick bungalow with my friend Amanda. I met Amanda seven years ago during the CityLights Urban Plunge over a spring break and I am really looking forward to living with her. I've harbored a not-so-secret dream of living in a brick house with real hardwood floors and space in the backyard for a garden for awhile now. Would you believe that this house is exactly that? It is! Talk about divine provision and an unexpected gift.

There it is: my new home! The lighting is not the best since we're about to experience a thunderstorm, but you get the general idea.

Interestingly enough, this house is located just a block down the street from the duplex where I lived during my first year in St. Louis. I don't have a clear sense of what God is up to, but I don't think it's an accident that I am returning to the beginning of so many things at once, even down to the street where I spent my first year on staff.

I am praying that every day that I spend in this little house of dreams will serve as a reminder for me that my Father knows the deepest desires of my heart. Truly he knows how to give good, good gifts to his children.

care

I am confident in just a few things these days, but one of them is that my Father sees me and he knows what I need. That is enough for today.

coincidental

I believe in the sovereignty of God. That makes the coincidental seem less of a coincidence! Last Tuesday Guillermo and I engaged in an evangelistic conversation with a freshman at Wash U. Turns out that her hometown is Chandler, AZ and that we graduated from the same high school.

Coincidence? I think not.

Last Wednesday I sent her a quick email to thank her for sharing her thoughts with us. She had mentioned that she'd be traveling to Uganda this summer to do economic development work with an NGOShe mentioned that she would be spending two months in Uganda this summer doing economic development work with an NGO. In my email I included a Bible verse about God's heart for justice and told her that I will continue to pray for her trip. I also offered to meet up with her if she wanted to look at Scripture that specifically outlines God's desire for us to spend ourselves on behalf of the poor.

She responded within five minutes and asked if we could meet for lunch. We're getting together tomorrow and I encouraged her to invite her friends. I haven't decided what passage we'll look at, but I'm leaning towards the story of Jesus healing the leper in Mark 1.

Yes, I believe in the sovereignty of God.

teaser

I just returned to St. Louis from sunny Santa Barbara where I was visiting Paul. We have some news to share, but you'll have to wait for the release of my April e-letter to get the details...

scattering seeds

I am learning to love our call to scatter seeds. We don't know which ones will take root and flourish. We don't know which ones will land on rocky soil. We don't get to micromanage the outcome. We do get to learn much along the way and discover the places where God has already been at work in peoples' lives. We get to communicate the Gospel story in ways that intersect with the stories of the people we are talking with.

I met a student two weeks ago at Wash U who was very open to sharing his thoughts on spirituality. He grew up Lutheran, but now hesitates to associate himself with any one faith tradition. "Organized religion just creates an 'us' and 'them' mentality that is destructive. Besides, as long as people are believing in something I think that all roads lead to the same God," he said to me. I gently challenged his assumption by suggesting that such a view takes as much faith as believing in the exclusivity of Jesus as the way to God. He paused for a moment and then agreed. "I never thought of that," he conceded. I asked if he would be interested in studying Scripture with a small group of curious thinkers and I told him that I thought his perspective would really add to our discussion. He said yes.

Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop - a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let them hear.
Matthew 13:8-9

be faithful

This is the second year that I've attended an Ash Wednesday Mass at a local Catholic church. Just like last year I was struck by the words that the priest spoke as he marked my forehead with a smudge of ash: turn from sin and be faithful to the Gospel.

Being faithful to the Gospel is taking on new meaning for me as I devote more of my schedule to evangelism on campus. Today I had lunch with a non-Christian student and we talked about his spiritual background and some of the questions he has about the Bible. I asked if he would like to meet with me over lunch for four weeks after Spring Break to look at some passages in Mark and talk about what we see the text saying about Jesus. He agreed. Please pray that his eyes would be opened to the hope that we have through Jesus as we study small sections of Mark's Gospel together.

On Friday afternoon I will be striking up conversations with strangers on campus. Three of my student leaders will be joining me and we're excited about the chance to practice some of what we learned during an evangelism training last weekend. Please pray that Jesus would give us boldness as we share his story and that we would encounter people who are truly seeking.

the doctor will see you now

Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I'm hear inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually fit." Mark 2:17 from The Message

This is really good news and as a person willing to admit my sickness I qualify! No insurance needed.

Urbana is coming

Check it out.

light

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1:1-5 TNIV

Urbana is still several months away, but in preparation for my role as part of the Scripture teaching team I am trying to spend as much time in the first four chapters of John's Gospel between now and December 27. I decided that I will meditate on the same 4-5 verses for a week and then move on to the next section. My roommate and I did that together this morning in an attempt to practice spiritual discipline in community. It was so encouraging and I am looking forward to more as we continue.

I was struck by the truth that the beginning of each of our stories is not the actual beginning. God is the beginning. That gives me a lot of hope!