hiatus

I've done a deplorable job of keeping this blog updated over the last couple of months. I think I need to put a reminder on my calendar each week so that I will keep up with it.

As I look back at this semester and begin to look forward to my return to campus in the spring, I find much to be deeply grateful for. Tomorrow morning I get to head to Chicago with my friend/supervisor, Tammy, for three days of training as a potential Bible study leader during next December's Urbana convention. One of the hallmarks of InterVarsity has been our inductive Bible study method. I feel honored to have the opportunity to learn how to better lead students as they encounter Scripture from veteran staff whom I greatly admire!

God has been very gracious to me as I've stepped away from campus in order to be faithful in my fundraising efforts. I can recount his provision of weekly and sometimes daily reminders that I've been called into this ministry. One of those reminders came in the form of an email from one of my student leaders:

So what have you been studying recently between fundraising? With large group meeting less frequently recently I've been getting things to read off of a favorite site of mine, reachrecords.com, but I'm interested in what you've been studying too. Also, knowing you are out there doing hard fundraising every day is really encouraging to me when our small group has trouble getting off the ground, it inspires me to keep working hard and trying different things to reach people =).

I am so incredibly blessed.

affirmation

We got back from FC08 on Sunday evening. I will post pictures as soon as they become available. It was an incredibly powerful weekend for the staff and students of the Central Region. I had the privilege of co-leading a seminar with Gerry Chappeau about mobilizing chapters to integrate social justice into their ministries both on campus and in the community where their school is located. Serving in a teaching capacity was so good for my heart in the midst of being off campus. The icing on the cake was that I received an invitation from our Associate Regional Director to attend training for prospective manuscript Bible study teachers for Urbana 09, InterVarsity's triennial student mission convention that will take place in St. Louis in December 2009.

I am grateful that God knows what I need before I even ask for it.

turning blessings back to praise

It's Wednesday and as a reflective person I like to take stock of things on a regular basis. As I look back on the past three days it is clear that God is proving himself faithful in the midst of my internal storm. Stepping into full-time fundraising has felt like walking onto a battleground. I spent a good chunk of last week feeling deeply discouraged and the whispered lies that I am not really called to advance the kingdom at Wash U sounded more like shouts. In the midst of the storm I have experienced God's provision in the following ways:

1. People have been available to pray for me in the moments when I have felt most discouraged.

2. An additional 7% of my budget has been raised in the past 48 hours. I am nearly to 50%!

3. I get to hang out with my students and help lead a seminar on social justice at FC08 this weekend. This is a huge gift that I do not take for granted since I am not able to hang out with them while I am off-campus fundraising.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

a line allows progress

I have been so proud of my student leaders. They are totally stepping up to the plate to make sure that One Voice continues on the course we set for the year at the start of NSO in August. It has been such a good reminder for me that my presence on campus is not necessary for God's work to continue in them and in the group as a whole.. Now, I still want to be present on campus in order to be a part of that work, but it is thoroughly his. How quickly I forget that.

The parents of two of my students are interested in joining my support team, which is an unexpected blessing. God is raising up some advocates on my behalf and I am very grateful.

Your continued prayers are very much appreciated as my "40 Days of Fundraising" continues to gain momentum.

Photo: One Voice students went boating in Forest Park on Friday evening.

hope vs. trust

I was praying this morning about what book(s) of Scripture I ought to marinate in over the next two months. The Psalms emerged as the winner!

Psalm 31:24 jumped off the page - Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD (NIV). I was curious at the use of the word hope as opposed to trust. I am well aware that I need to embody both of those traits these days, but I am not always clear on the distinction. I busted out the concordance to do some detective work. It turns out that the Hebrew root for hope as it is used in this verse is yachal (there should be a little carrot over the first a, but I don't know how to type that). It means "to wait; by implication be patient" and the synonyms are "be pained, stay, tarry, trust, wait". On the other hand, the word translated as trust in many of the psalms is from the Hebrew root batach which means "to be confident or sure".

I like the distinction. I am also appreciative of the timely reminder that the difficulty of hope lies in the painful reality that it involves waiting for what is lacking, what is yet to be. Hope is not the necessarily warm and fuzzy feeling that I imagine. I will be mulling that over for a while.

In the meantime, I want to practice the discipline of active, expectant waiting. I want to leap.

one mountain behind me, one up ahead

New Student Outreach has wrapped up more or less. We've got a good group of new freshmen who are connected with One Voice and they had their first small group Bible study last night. I so excited! I am also extremely tired from late night activities on campus, baking up a storm (homemade cookies are a great way to meet new students!), and pushing myself to be as extroverted as possible!

Even as the busiest part of the school year comes to a close there is a big change on the horizon. It's official: I will spend the next seven weeks off campus raising the rest of my budget for this year. The hope is that I will be able to be on campus full-time by the beginning of November. It's a high cost. I've met so many students over the past three weeks of NSO that I am anxious to invest in, but the reality is that my ministry on campus will be severely hindered in the long run if I have not kept up with this part of the work that God has called me into for this season. So far I have raised 41% of my budget for the 2008 fiscal year. I covet your prayers as I work diligently in the coming weeks and trust God to provide. He continues to prove just how faithful he is!

Leaders from One Voice, Harambee, and Asian Christian Fellowship track God's mission throughout Scripture during our undergrad leader retreat two weeks ago.

We packed a lot of material into our 12 hour retreat,
so we ended the day with some fun!

taking stock

The summer has flown by like I knew it would. I wondered if I would be sad at it's passing, but I am not. It's been a nearly perfect blend of work and play - so much so that I am looking forward to Thursday and the arrival of the new freshmen at Wash U. What a gift to know that God is already at work in this class of students and that we get to go on a treasure hunt to discover what He has been up to!

Here are some photos from my recent vacation in Washinton D.C. My mom and her company made it all possible. Thanks, Mom!

The back porch at Mount Vernon - George Washington's plantation.

My mom and I on the lawn at Mount Vernon. Pity that my eyes are very much shut for this photo.

July so far

My sister and I enjoyed some quality time together.

My daily routine is turning out to be a mix of organizing my contacts, sending out letters and emails, making calls, and meeting with people who are potentially interested in joining my support team. It doesn't always seem like I am getting a lot done each day, but I am learning to rejoice over the small, faithful steps forward. They represent victory over fear and the choice to live each day learning what it means to depend on God. It's an uphill climb, but a very good one for me to be making.

Last week my sister, Susan, came out for a visit. She helped me organize my apartment a bit and even volunteered to address envelopes for me one evening. It was such an encouragement to have her around and we managed to take in some of the sights of St. Louis during her stay.

Encouragement seems to be a recurring theme these days and I am mindful that each example is evidence of God's provision. Yesterday morning in prayer I kept thinking of the verse that calls Jesus our "great high priest". As I read the rest of that passage in Hebrews I found myself feeling grateful for the timing of a reminder that God is ready to "help us in our time of need". It felt like an exhortation as well: we are instructed to "boldly approach the throne of grace". I want to practice that more as I learn to fight the temptation to let discouragement take hold.

Now that we know what we have - Jesus this Great High Priest with ready access to God - let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all - all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.
Hebrews 4:14-16, The Message

many nations

One of the highlights of wrapping up my first school year on staff took place the last week in May. My co-worker Allison and I traveled to Colorado Springs with nine international students to attend the International House Party at InterVarsity's Bear Trap Ranch. Students learned about Jesus as we studied the parable of the prodigal son all week in small groups and had ample opportunies for fun, including hiking, rock climbing, square dancing, etc. It was a wonderful week and a great reminder of how much I enjoy serving in a cross-cultural context. I've become pretty accustomed to working with American students!

Last week one of the students hosted a reunion potluck for all of us. As great as it was to see everyone again, I was even more excited to learn from Allison that the four non-Christian students who were a part of our trip were all eager to continue studying scripture over the summer. Friday night they showed up at Allison's GIG (Group Investigating God) for dinner, fellowship, and a Bible study/discussion.

Praise God for the mysterious way He is at work drawing people into His kingdom from every tribe, tongue, and nation!

Enjoying the spectacular view from the top made up for a grueling climb.

Reunited - post dinner visit to Creve Coeur Lake.

summer staff life

Leading a scripture study from Nehemiah 2 at Catalyst 08, our week-long student leadership camp that happened in May.

I'm back from an unintentional blogging hiatus. Two student camps, a move to a new apartment, and a visit from Paul have kept me busy for the past four weeks. I am still getting settled into my apartment and figuring out what my schedule for the summer will look like as I work full-time to raise my full budget so that I will be able to focus fully on campus work once school starts up again! That's a lot of "full" for one summer.

I plan to post stories of God's provision as I dive into this process and your prayers for encouragement and boldness are very much appreciated.

Someone told me recently that raising financial support is one of the sharpest tools in God's discipleship shed. I am beginning to understand just what that means, but I can also honestly say that I know how good it is for me and the internal work that He is doing on my character.

house party

Tomorrow afternoon I will embark on a trek to the mountains surrounding Colorado Springs, CO. My co-worker Allison and I are taking nine international students to the International House Party, a week long camp for international students held at InterVarsity's Bear Trap Ranch. Most of the students attending are not yet followers of Jesus, but they will be encountering him through scripture each morning and through our interactions during the week.

Please pray for safe travel, loads of fun, and for many of our guests to make decisions to follow Jesus as Savior and Lord.

the plot thickens

Meet Paul. He's on staff with InterVarsity at UC Santa Barbara. We met at our staff conference in January and now we're dating.

Here's to another unexpected twist in the plot! It gets added to a long list of plot twists from the past several months.

Your prayers for wisdom are valued as we continue to get to know each other. We're definitely putting the "long" in long distance relationship, but I spent a week in Santa Barbara last month and he'll be in St. Louis for a week in June.

Unlooked for, unmerited gifts...

new life

...it's just like you to bring light into darkness / it's just like you / lord, it's just like you / it's just like you to bring beauty to ashes / it's just like you / lord, it's just like you...

Spring has arrived in St. Louis and it is a stunning sight to behold. There is something incredible about seeing new life in full bloom: God's story of resurrection on full display.

Wednesdays are typically my Sabbath - a time for rest and extended time in prayer and Scripture. I find myself returning to the Missouri Botanical Garden again and again - such a different environment from Wash U's campus and truly a place where I connect with the One in whom I live and move and have my being.

Here's a sample of what I observed during a recent visit.

As this academic year comes to a close, I am clinging to the promises of God for the students I've met this year who have yet to experience new life in Jesus. Our God is might to save and I am choosing to have faith that resurrection is possible in their lives.

I am praying, speaking, and walking with hope because the Spirit of God can cause skeptical hearts to become curious.

desperately seeking

This morning I met up with a student and her friend for breakfast. Her friend is not a student at Wash U, but he's visiting for the next week before heading to Massachusetts where he'll spend some time at a psychiatric treatment center. He was supposed to start college last fall, but he entered rehab instead. He's been in and out three times since.

He is one among countless. As I heard some of his story I was struck by the reality that we were created to worship, but there are a million ways that can get distorted as we decide where we will surrender our allegiance. My student's friend is still searching and I am hopeful because he wants to be healed. I told him that I will be praying for his time in Massachusetts as we parted ways. Will you join me in doing likewise?

This week I've been asked to mourn with those who mourn. It's brought me to my knees. I think that is a good place for me to be.

spring sprint

Less than four weeks of classes are left in this semester. Where has the time gone? Here are some highlights from the past few weeks, as well as what comes next:

1. CityLights 2008 - God showed up in a big way! The five One Voice students who participated are still talking about the the things that they learned. As a fellowship, we want to integrate the gospel and social justice, both on campus and in the surrounding community. Pray for us as we begin the process of planning for Fall 2008 - we want to our connection with the urban poor in St. Louis to go beyond a week-long experience each spring break!

Aya, Olivia, and Joy - CityLights is a great opportunity for students to connect with each other across fellowship, ethnic, and campus lines.

2. Spanish language Bible study - Guillermo (junior) and Asenath (freshman) are launching a new small group that will study scriptures in Spanish. Both are well connected with the small Latino community on campus and have a desire to reach out to their peers. Pray that God would be glorified as His word is preached to a specific culture on campus in their heart language.

3. Invitation to lead - Between now and the end of the semester I will be inviting four students to join our leadership team for the 2008-2009 school year. Pray that they would be sensitive to God's leading and direction as they consider this opportunity to join us in advancing the kingdom on the campus at Wash U.

CityLights

Your prayers are appreciated this week as I help to staff CityLights - InterVarsity's St. Louis Urban Project.

Five One Voice students from Wash U will be participating and I long for them to encounter Jesus in significant ways.

This week-long project has changed the lives of countless students, mine included. It is an absolute joy to get to walk with my students as they experience it for themselves!

missio dei

Times have changed. As my students and I talk about how to share the gospel on campus we continue to ask God to empower us by the Spirit to speak languages that are foreign to us. We've also been experimenting with how to step out into situations where we're forced to rely on Him. Two weeks ago we hung out with Chinese grad students to celebrate Chinese New Year. Last week we attended a speech by former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales - half of the students stayed outside the venue to talk to the protesters who were picketing the event.

These have been risky steps for my students. Breaking out of the Christian subculture bubble is hard to do!

All of the new staff in the Central Region met in Des Moines last week for a few days of evangelism training. It was in incredible time of diving into scripture and wrestling with what it means to invite postmoderns to examine the claims of Jesus.

I am more convinced than ever before that my call is to learn how to contextualize the message of Jesus for students at Wash U. It is a challenging call, but it is worth it!

Tim and Rachel L. work on creating a comprehensive witness strategy for Rachel's campus, Coe College in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

We hunkered down in a Des Moines coffee shop to get work done on our last day of training: Rachel D. and Amy looking especially productive!

tongues

We studied the first half of Acts 2 on Tuesday night. While I am eager for students to catch a vision for what life and ministry to their peers can look like when the Spirit is leading, I found myself apprehensive at the possible directions that they could take with the passage. Interdenominational ministry is a beautiful thing: we get to experience a kind of Body life that the average churchgoer might not. At the same time, it means that we all enter the study of Scripture with very different perspectives and church traditions. So, I was a little nervous that it would dissolve into a debate about the manifestation of the Holy Spirit and whether or not what happened at Pentecost still happens today.

Oh, me of little faith.

God showed up in a beautiful way. We responded to the passage using art and Guillermo's drawing gave us some profound insights. In his drawing, God was bringing people who spoke different languages, different tongues to our fellowship: they spoke the languages of science, art, literature, anthropology, etc. I was blown away by that very tangible application of God's word. He was speaking to us directly!

We ended the evening by praying that the Spirit would empower us to speak the languages of our friends on campus, across academic disciplines. Amen!

back in action

I've fallen quite short of my commitment to post weekly updates. Working on fixing that for the spring semester. It's going to be necessary because so many exciting things are developing!

I left St. Louis in mid-December for a trip home to AZ for Christmas. Honestly, I was not in a good place emotionally or spiritually. As I looked back on my first few months on campus I had a hard time identifying where God was working. I felt frustrated by the lack of fruit and equally frustrated by my apparent inability to sustain reasonable expectations for this new season of life and ministry. My struggle with perfectionism was on full display!

One Voice student leaders at our last gathering for the fall semester.

Plans to spend ample time with Jesus over the break didn't pan out - I spent most of my two weeks at home lying on the couch trying to get over a sinus infection. The thought of returning to campus for another semester of scrambling to do something, anything to prove that my ministry is worthwhile felt overwhelming to say the least.

I flew back into St. Louis on January 2 in order to attend InterVarsity's National Staff Conference. It happens once every three years and it is the only time when all 1500 or so of us are together. The theme of this year's conference was "I Am Not Ashamed of the Gospel". I came into the week feeling so weary, but expectant that God would speak to my heart in a significant way. He did.

As I listened to powerfully convicting teaching from Romans and had the privilege of engaging in praise and worship with my coworkers, I heard Jesus reminding me that He is attractive enough just as He is. I get so hung up on contextualizing truth for a postmodern college audience. Until that moment I hadn't realized that part of my preoccupation was evidence of my fear that He is not able to do what He's been doing for all of history. I feel the the crippling need to make it look right, say it the right way - as if that is enough to convince people into the Kingdom! I heard Jesus say, "The Gospel is powerful enough. My Spirit is at work. Move forward in faith." The Spirit was truly at work in our midst and it was incredible!

That just scratches the surface of what God did in me at staff conference, but I hope it give you some insight. Students began classes again last week. I hosted our first leader gathering for the spring at my apartment on Saturday and something was different. As I shared about my hope that we would be in tune with the Spirit's leading, rather than simply continuing to plan programs and events in the hope that others will show up when invited, there was excitement among the team. We're moving forward with a unity of purpose that I don't think ever fully crystallized during the fall. Praise God for fresh vision and new life!

I can't wait to see where this leads...